Somatic Experiencing & Trauma Healing
If you’re on the internet, looking for a therapist, and have experienced trauma or chronic stress you have probably heard of somatic therapy. And there have been lots of videos of shaking and yelling and raging. All of which are probably helpful in your journey - letting emotions out instead of shutting them down indefinitely. And, it might be more helpful to work with a provider who has an understanding of and training in somatic therapy.
One of the modalities that has worked well for me, personally and professionally, is Somatic Experiencing ™ (SE). Here is more technical information about SE: https://traumahealing.org/.
About 5 years ago (give or take, because what is time?) I started seeing my own SE therapist. Even though I was more than certain I had healed the trauma of past relationships through talk therapy and SO MUCH self awareness on my own. (surprise, I hadn’t!)
So, I started working with this person who would stop me in the middle of one of my most traumatic tales to ask me “Where do you notice that in your body”, “What does it look like?”, “ Is there a texture?” and other ways to notice what was happening in my body. After years of being safe enough in my head, reading self help books until it felt like there weren’t any more to read (which, obviously isn’t true, there will always be more because, capitalism), and learning why I reacted the way I did, I was pretty unsure at first how to respond to this type of therapy. Surely, there was a “right” way to respond - an answer that this therapist was looking for that I could prove I was a “good” client.
Turns out, she wasn’t looking for anything other than what I noticed when she asked. She didn’t bat an eye if I said I felt like there was a black ball at the pit of my stomach that sometimes moves. Or if it seemed like I couldn’t really move my shoulders because of the weight on them. And eventually she would learn my patterns and help me notice them when it was hard for me to notice them on my own. She was attuned. And, she didn’t want anything from me but for me to be myself and show up right where I was exactly how I was. I had never felt that kind of unconditional positive regard (clinical speak for she trusted me and knew that something different was possible for me and that she thought I was enough even if I never made any changes) (phew, what a change from what I experienced as a millennial, oldest daughter, formerly gifted kid).
And so, within that relationship, for a year or so, I started to pay attention to what was happening in my body. When that ball showed up, what did the rest of my body want from me? Did I need to imagine it moved out of the way? Did it have something to say? And then, I would do those things, slowly and with a witness. Someone who cared enough to pay attention. (One of the indicators that a traumatic experience can become trauma is that no one is around to support you through it.)
And…things changed. I was able to over function less. I was able to trust myself a little bit more. Relationships became more reciprocal. I started to learn that my initial pull towards people might not actually be my intuition and what was good for me and more of what felt familiar from my past.
Because of the personal benefits I received from SE, I decided to complete the three year training to be able to offer a different option for my clients. For people who have been to therapy and know the reasons that they react to certain situations, but haven’t been able to find a way to learn how to respond in the way they want, yet.
I think our nervous systems are so cool - they work so hard to keep us alive and sometimes they get stuck in ways that were incredibly useful during whatever chronically stressful situation we were in but are so unhelp and even harmful when we aren’t in that situation anymore. SE has helped me and my clients to be able to learn some new nervous system patterns. To help live lives that feel more authentic.
If this sounds like you, and you want to try something different, click on the “schedule now” button at the top of the page and we can have a free 15 minute consultation to see if we might be a good fit. I’m looking forward to meeting with you!