Small Shifts

I’m curious about your capacity. 

Not in the way your boss asks you if you have capacity to take on yet another project - because obviously, you need the job. Or in the way you sort of just suck it up and accept the next assignment in class - there’s not really another choice. 

I’m not curious about it to judge it. Or to tell you to change it (magically) (I know, you’ve been trying). 

I’m mostly curious so that we know where to start. How to start to try to be a little more neutral with yourself. How to notice that if beating yourself up were the way to achieving your goals, you would have achieved them (and more) already. 

What if you could find a place where you are accepted. Right now, just as you are. Maybe for the first time. Where you don’t have to worry about if you said the right thing. Or wore the right thing. Or if I am ok. What if you really could just hold space for yourself while I held space for you. I imagine that feels a little unfamiliar. A little overwhelming. Maybe a little unsafe. Phew, I can understand that. I have spent a lot of time in areas of life that felt familiar even though they were eating me alive. 

What if we could shift, slowly, into living a life that feels a little more like yours? Where you feel like you might have a little more capacity to do something a little bit different. Until one day, your life feels (maybe) a little easier  to manage. Your goals feel (somewhat) achievable. 

I ask about your capacity with all of these things because I have recently noticed my own capacity (or rather, I have been noticing my capacity for the last few years). I have been spending most of my time in practice as a therapist operating independently. Which has been hard. So so hard. I haven’t had a group or a place with people who have been able/interested in intentionally connecting. And it was hard for me to do more than just see clients each day. (which I LOVE) (and I wanted to do more). 

So I started going to a coaching group. Where, each week, I would come with a list of things that I just couldn’t do. Again. Which was wildly frustrating for my high achieving self. And the more I noticed, the more I realized I was so understimulated during the day. I wasn’t getting enough social interaction to recharge my battery. If I take the MBTI (which has all of its own problems for sure) my responses are about 50/50 introvert/extrovert. I need other people. I need community (secretly, I think we all do to varying degrees - even the most introvert-y of us).

Then, I started to tell people what I needed. Sharing at networking meetings that I was looking for office space and other people to share it with. And then, like magic (?) (haha - mixed with some vulnerability and courage) I found someone who wanted to do the same thing! And then they brought another person on board. And now, we share this amazingly beautiful space. Where each one of our offices perfectly reflects our personalities and the shared space feels welcoming and warm. 

And, from this space I have found an amount of capacity that I haven’t experienced in many years. I have been able to do a whole host of things that will probably get me closer to my goals. I’m writing this blog. I haven’t written in a long time (I practice some self-disclosure as a therapist). It feels like coming home.

Because of the work I have done, I am able to see the preceding five years as necessary growth and not get mad at myself for the time that I “wasted” (that wasn’t really wasted - it was learning - it was the journey). 

So, I ask you. What kind of support do you need? What small (or big, maybe) changes do you want to make to live the life you want to live? (While acknowledging the sheer and utter crap that is happening in the world at this time - that might impact it). Would you be willing to spend 50 minutes a week with a therapist whose goal in that session is to help you to achieve your goals and make the tangled web inside your head make a little more sense? 

I would be honored to be invited on your journey to help you untangle the web. I believe in you and that you have the right answers for your life within and that it might be hard to access those answers in the day to day. It can be so helpful to learn how to slow down and give yourself the space & grace you give others. I can’t promise magic overnight. But I can hold hope for the magic to appear over time. To help you notice when magic is happening right now.

If you’re interested in really learning about  your actual capacity and needs and what therapy might be like with me, click on the “schedule now” button at the top of my website for a free 15 minute consultation. The number one predictor of therapy outcomes is the therapeutic relationship - we want to make sure that’s going to feel good before we start!